Why is it called Oxygen? Where did that name come from? Did they figure that Oxygen is a life-sustaining part of our human needs? Maybe like Oxygen for the soul?

Maybe, but there is another analogy that women might consider, and even find appropriate.  It explores the esoteric nature of relationships and the duality of the sexes.

Oxygen is a very yang element. On an atomic and molecular level it is an aggressive factor. Since oxygen is usually a gas, it tends to seek out and attach to other elements and molecules — they seem to have a yin-like acceptance of the oxygen. When that happens, there is a fundamental change in the yin target. The combination is never like the two of them separately, and it is really hard to get the oxygen away from the target — till death do they part. When the action is really fierce, at high temperatures, oxygen not only attaches to organic molecules, but totally tears them to part. The result is a uncontrollable devastation of the yin, and a surrender to dust.

Even when the energy of oxygen is well harnessed to the needs of life, there are side effects:  The creation of free radicals.  On a cellular level, these free radicals are tiny toxins that can build up or damage other parts of the cell. You might think of them as the beer cans that lay around after the Super Bowl, or the pee on the side of the toilet. Things that simply never, ever happen to a woman living without a man.

Yang seeks yin. Yin seems to call out to Yang. The combination changes into something else, and there is a potential violence to the yang, which can destroy the combination and reduce it to the basest, simplest combinations.

Women: you may call out to the yang, and it will seek you out and connect — will the outcome be what you envision? You will find that you will change greatly by the connection. Sometimes out of control and leading to an unexpected and bitter conclusion.

But when it works, there is nothing like it — hydrogen turns oxygen into water.  The very stuff of life itself.  The blessings prevail.

93. Hold hands more often
94. Reenact a romantic movie you watched together.
95. Always open the door for your female partner and be a gentleman.
96. Always remember that being romantic comes from the heart.
97. Although the idea counts, its the actions that follow that make it special.

Pretty good, huh?  Do you want to find out the rest?  Just visit romance4u

He had a great vision, but the computers we were using: the TRS-80, Apple II and the Commodore Pet, were not quite as easy to link up as we can do today.  So Harry scaled back his idea and shifted  to linking up these computers to a centralized disk for storage.  He envisioned that a cluster of these computers would be a tool for schools.  Actually it was a great idea, but the slow growth of computers in the school system in the late 1970′s turned the idea into a fantasy.  Still, the Nestar Cluster One was the very first Local Area Network available on the market.  The market just was not very big.

I left Nestar Systems on New Year’s Eve: December 31, 1979.  I went back to Santa Barbara (what a great place) and decided that I, too would start a business.  And I did:  Stellation Two.  We made a circuit board for the Apple II that allow a second CPU to work with the Apple’s CPU at the same time.  True multiprocessing.  Again a first — The first multiprocessor personal computer on the market.  The market just was not very big.  It was a fun ride that had ups and downs.  Months of high hopes and growing sales, and years of slow market decay.

That elusive goal of actually connecting with the energy of the marketplace has alway called me ever since those days.  So after 25 years, I’m plunging ahead with a new venture, TweeParty.

Everybody is talking about Twitter: it has caught on incredibly!  But most everyone I know says something like: “I tried it once, and I didn’t get it.  Why would anyone want to do that.”  But the people who do use twitter, actually find it is really effective.  How?  What is the secret that makes the difference between these two kinds of folks?

I had been fascinated by that question,  in addition to Twitter itself.  As you may see, many of the posts on this blog are actually generated from Twitter Searches — it shows what people are commenting about.  I zero in on romantic topics for this blog: “soft kiss” or “make up sex” or similar.

But that does not answer the question at all: “Why would anyone use Twitter?” If I told you it is to be social, your reaction is likely to be “Bull-Roar” — However, change your perspective just a bit.  Most social conversation is essentially small-talk.  Snippets of pretty much useless banter.  And it’s true, small talk is trivial.  But most humans do it quite nicely.  It is as easy as, well, small talk.

Small talk has always been a challenge for me, though, as a touch of Aspergers has given me the uncanny ability to totally miss the point.  And that’s it, there is no point, except to go with the flow of the conversation.

And that is the secret of Twitter between friends.  A respected authority on the use of Twitter, AlohaArleen mentioned to me that Twitter is just line a cocktail party, with people chiming in to a group conversation.

But the text based representation that Twitter shows to users is just too remote from that image…  That’s when I had my inspiration for a visual representation:  TweeParty!  At TweeParty,  you see an visual representation of the people that are your contacts, the ones that are most active: chatty, if you will, are right up on top of your browser.  The newer icons are sharper and well defined, and the ones that have older tweets are grayer and are near the bottom of your window.  You browser will constantly refresh the party bringing new tweets into view.  All  you need to do is scroll your mouse over the icons, and see all the tweets that have come in for that particular person!  When you find something interesting, you simply click  and a menu and entry panel come into view.  Simply select the action you want, type in your own response, and click!  You are part of  the party.

I’m really excited about TweeParty and have spent countless hours putting new features in.  It is a little clunky,  and definitely in Alpha development mode, but it adheres to the strict security that Twitter advocates, is very robust (I have left it updating on an ancient Internet Explorer 6 for hours with no problems), and allows you to start off with a beginners view of the Tweet-iverse with what I call a temporary socialite account.  All you do is click on a link and tell twitter that you will use tweeparty for a while (the authority goes away when you close your browser).

Simple, fun and effective.  I hope  you check  it  out.  I’m running it under my “mom-de-plume” as Mom’s TweeParty

Why is it the guy is in the background?  Why not have him as a flamenco peacock?  A dance of equals?  In my review I talked of the supportive role the man had to bring her energies to the front.  That set off a contrast of ideas that I needed to turn over and over to gain a full view of this dance of life.

You see, what the man is providing is the “sacred space” — Sacred,  not so much as in the religious sense,  but as in the sense that it is so precious that it must be protected at all costs, so the space can work it’s magic.  And what is that magic?

The magic is that the woman can blossom into the fullest realization of her potential.  As she can define it.  But it is not just man an woman, it is power, and beauty: Yang, and Yin.

So what qualities make up this sacred space?  The Yang energy must create it and enlarge it and defend it.  The Yin energy must fill it with the delights of the Yin: the highest refinement of  her energies.  Beauty and richness and grace.  The protection of the yang must surround the space, and may dance within the space, but within that space, the  Yin is allowed, encouraged and nurtured to flourish unrestrained.  Anything less makes it the dank prison and not the sacred space.

It is easy for the dominate energy to turn inward to rule over the space,  but unless that energy enlarges the space and makes is more to the liking of the Yin, it is useless.  This is how many men direct their frustrations with the  world back into their home life, and make the woman a prisoner, a slave.  A truly strong man would  not do that.

Equally sad is when the Yang energy is muted, by job loss, or illness, or emotional exhaustion, and can no longer keep the space pure and open.  The Yin energy is no longer able to be pure Yin,and unless the pair can change over, and allow the  Yin to repair, the dance will dissolve.

Yang!  Be strong: allow your mate the space to grow, and  thrive and blossom.  You will harvest a crop of blessings.  Yin: Take every advantage of the space while it lasts, enjoy it , expand your capabilities, and know you are loved: make the space within a loving nest for your mate to recuperate.

And if, by some sad chance that you need to exchange roles, become as receptive to the needs of the Yang, as it was of yours

Here is a poem that I will send out to the whole world, so that you can know what a puppy might hope that love could grow up to be.

Without that!?!

Without that?! I must be your lover for all time…
Knowing your love not in this way will frame my death.

Without that, I must be your love for all time…
Knowing your love not in this way will mute my senses.

Without that, I must be your best friend for all time…
Knowing you not in this way will harden my heart.

Without that, I must be your friend for all time…
Knowing you not in this way will destroy my soul.

Happy Valentines Day: There are more searches on Google for Love near Valentines Day, than all the other days of the year! Valentines Day is truly the day of love. Let it be so.

Have you heard any of these jokes:

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: ‘Husband Wanted’. Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you

say — talk in your sleep.

First guy says, ‘My wife’s an angel!’ Second guy remarks, ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’

And then the young son asked his father, ‘Is it true that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?’ Dad replied, ‘That happens in every country, son.’

Why is the beginning of the relationship so exciting, romantic, hot and after a few years of marriage the happy couple is contemplating divorce?

The problem with relationships is that men and women have different needs – everyone knows that but when you understand what a women wants and what a man wants and then work on the relationship with an understanding of each others needs you can develop the relationship into an exciting, loving, caring satisfying marriage.

How can this be accomplished?

Women want attention, appreciation, and communication.

Men want sex. The sex drive in a man is incredibly strong. Think about the beginning of most relationships. The man is attentive, appreciative and talks. The women gets what she wants because the man is interested in getting her into bed.

So a great way for couples to bring excitement back into the relationship is to have the women focus on channeling her husbands sex drive. Once this is accomplished she will get what she wants. When a man’s sex drive is channeled he will again become attentive, romantic, appreciative and he will communicate.

This can be done with a little imagination. It wont require the wife to hang from the ceiling fan dressed in garter belts with a paddle in her hand. When a wife learns to use her feminine qualities she can bring her husband to attention in a very short period of time.

Sound like work? Sound a little weird? Every relationship requires work. If you want a relationship that you’ve only dreamed about learn how to use your sexuality and you’ll find your husband begging to do things for you.

Maybe it was because he felt he needed to reach out through the fabric of the universe to his uncle. And even as he had that thought his state of consciousness changed: he felt that, yes, he could reach through the very fabric of space and time. Beneath the supposed “real” dimensions of space and time. And that there is an intimate connection that runs just beyond the limitations of our everyday lives.

He heard the birds in the air, as if for the very first time. The air seemed more real in his lungs. And somehow, the colors of the trees and sky and houses became full of energy, as if the very light itself had a soul. And all through it ran the idea, no, the certainty, that all matter was energized by the same force and was related in an unknown but tangible way.

This is what a peak experience is like. It can come from any number of places, but it only happens when something is able to touch your core in ways that are truly meaningful to you. And then your core shines with a glow that connects you to the farthest points in the universe. It is as if you had lived in a dark place full of strange and unknown shapes, and somehow a light goes on and you see the world as a different place: the fearsome shadow in the corner is no longer a snake, but merely a coil of rope.

Sometimes, these states are so out-of-tune with our normal lives that we may suppress them, or some well meaning friend or authority makes them seem insignificant or unworthy. Any peak experience that allows a great connection of spirit is valid: no one, let alone yourself, should be allowed to take it from you.

What have your peak experiences come from? A death or near-death experience? The birth of your child or grandchild? Was it from looking your best friend and lover deep in the eyes and knowing that you were both together, as one? Was it from a sweet and powerful sexual union? Could it have been from the first kiss of youth?

That kiss, that first kiss, meant that you were worthy of a kiss, of love. That insight of the total worth of your soul is a very powerful jump start into the realm of peak experiences: We often completely miss the opportunity for the search for peak experiences outside of a normal love union.

When you do have a peak experience that you fully remember and value, you want more of that. It becomes a goal in your life. The romance of your life is to re-capture and recreate that goal. You even want to take it to the impossible limit: of actually touching that farthest edge of the interconnected universe. Of merging your soul with your partner, or of walking on the moon, or visiting the tomb of an unknown Pharaoh.

A peak experience should not be a once in a lifetime experience. In fact, The Celarien Experience® is all about that which Abraham Maslow spoke of as plateaus of consciousness that are characteristic of those that Maslow called self-actualized. Maslow recognized that a person must take control of their own efforts in the aspect of emotion and consciousness.

Buy From Art.com

Look at the color of the dress, the swing and sway of the energies of this dance. This has got to be one of the most sensual and sexy images I’ve seen in years. Sophisticated too. Totally expressing that fabulous soul dance.

The whole image exudes movement and life. The sweep of dress and the lean of the dancers vibrate with erotic energy. There is no pretense of holding back on what may come later in the evening.

There are some important lessons about romance for us students to contemplate:

• The guy is totally in control. But he is NOT the center of attention. He does this so that she may shine her radiance to herself, her partner and all that see.
• The woman has total faith that she is in trustworthy hands. She would never let herself be bent in this unnatural way unless she has surrendered to her partner in this.
• Both of them are totally focussed on the connection to each other and the sensuality of the moment.

So ask yourself these questions: As a guy, can your partner totally trust you? Would you ever let her lose faith in you? Even if she doesn’t follow your lead? Do you let her shine? Are you totally focussed on her and just enjoy the moment with her?

And as a woman: could you trust your man? or do you hold back? Would you like to shine more? or do you hold back? Are you totally focussed on each moment with your partner, or do you multiplex your energies?

If you like the image and what it means, go ahead and click through: you will find many sizes and frame options for your selection. Let it inspire you to a more sensual and complete romance.

Jim

I won’t speak about God’s plan. I think we are all bathed in God’s plan each and every second of our entire lives — Hint: It’s not in a book folks, books are written by men, not God.

I won’t speak about what sin is the worst, although why would one think that an unfaithful lover is worse than a sadistic killer, I have no idea.

And again, if you can’t forgive your partner, even a cheating partner, then you have no clue about what unconditional love is all about.

But Jenny Block is not about cheating. Far from it. She is about exercising her ability to grow in directions that most people fear. And more power to her! Bravo.

Now would you feel threatened by a partner that openly desires, and has other lovers? Very likely you would. But you could not accuse that partner of cheating. All you could do would be to look at yourself and ask what is it that is bothering me about this?

Here is a new way to look at the fidelity question. And I don’t think most people have even begun to think about love and partnership in this way, but it is a new start —

Do not judge your partner by how she or he treats others, judge only by how your partner treats you.

Look at that statement. Read it. Commit it to memory. Bring it close to your heart. The more you attempt to restrict your partner, the less whole you are. Remember it only your neediness that attempts to force another to your rules. And neediness is never romantic.

Does that mean that you must enjoy a partner’s extra-curricular activities? Absolutely not. In fact, if you have a truly deeply held value about monogamy, there are plenty of people in the partner pool that share that value. A partner that slips, has an affair, or visits a prostitute, it only means that your partner is not honoring one of your deepest values. But your option is to tell your partner how much it hurts, how it hurts, and allow a mending or parting of the ways. Or you an grow into a new set of values.

In fact, allowing yourself the freedom that you extend to your partner will allow your partner to grow and realize the value of the gift of acceptance that you offer. Now that’s unconditional love, and unconditional love is the most romantic of all.
But what ever your preferences about monogamy, swinging or whatever, be clean and safe. Be responsible.

So, thanks, Jenny for stepping up and sharing your new way of pursuing life’s peak experiences.

Well somebody actually asked me the same thing: “Jim, what do YOU think romance is?” Well, I had to think a few moments, and here it is:

Romance, I’m sure, is the path and destination, the life long pursuit of life’s peak experiences. The destination is togetherness, the path is a mountain of salt that we may eat together. Romance is watching your eyes as you look at shoes on the rack or stars or concerts and noticing what makes your face light up in pleasure: and bringing that look back into your eyes by future words, deeds and thoughts.

Romance is making you always feel safe and protected no matter how crazy the adventure gets; That we can always survive and thrive. Romance is allowing you to be an eternal little child, adolescent, seductress, mommie, slut, matron and crone at your whim, and reveling in the kaleidoscope of your personality. Romance is the confidence to let you grow in whatever ways you need, with whatever resources you choose, and knowing that you will be a better partner for all that.

That, my reader, you flower of thorns, is romance for me, pernonally. I learned it from Joan Armatrading’s ‘Willow.’ — go out and buy her tunes!

It is a tough road to travel. Don’t expect to do it without some serious growth on your part.