Rapport: The Secret Ingredient in Relationships

Simpatico (also sympatico) is best defined as the ease of likability. It is having similar dispositions and tastes with another person. It results in a feeling of security, of freedom to say what you want and know it will fall on understanding ears. It is a good feeling. It helps bridge the distance between people and make the bonds between us more meaningful.

Simpatico may be one of the most essential aspects of long term successful relationships. It is more important than looks or money. It is right up there with raw sexuality and security.

There is a more technical term: Rapport that comes from psychology and is very similar. The difference is how natural the feeling is. Rapport is a skill. It is taught as a topic in NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) and practiced till it becomes easy, like riding a bike. A good counselor will always desire rapport with a client. A great therapist can build rapport quickly with a large portion of the public. Still, some clients may require more effort on the part of the therapist to build and maintain that rapport.

It is the same with rapport as one of the basic ingredients in building a relationship. If you can have instant and easy rapport with someone it is called simpatico. If, like that therapist who struggles to build rapport, you may need to work at having that feeling with your partner. It could be your values are not compatible, or you may just need to keep practicing your rapport skills till you can do it with greater ease.

If this happens you or your partner may feel depleted and emotionally flat after your contact. That is a passion killer for both of you, so what to do? That will be one of the running themes in our blog: just look at our posts that are labelled values. Values compatibility is important to build and have simpatico.

Consider this: If you need to work hard to get that feeling of rapport to the point of having your partner open up sexually or emotionally, you just wont be able to do it for the long term. So it’s important to make your romantic life easy by finding someone that you have ‘simpatico’ or so that you can shape your values to crate that instant and continual rapport. That just makes sense, doesn’t it?